Falling
by PatronusCharmBabe
Summary: But I know I am in the inferno, a nightmare of horror." If you havent read my story Only in a moment I dont know if this will make sense, but feel free to read! Companion chapter chap 49 of my other story Only In A Moment. Stella POV!


**So hi! This is a companion chapter to Chapter 49 of Only in a Moment! It is in Stella's POV taking place just as she is apparating from her aunt and uncles. **

**Enjoy and review!**

Shutting my eyes I let the wind wrap around me and I dissolve in a snap. I don't really enjoy apparating. Well I loath it. But I would not face my uncle. Nope not gonna happen. And my aunt? Yeah right. I hate tears. I hate crying. I hate showing weakness. That's just who I am. So apparating was my escape. It is annoyingly uncomfortable and helps me ignore what I am feeling. As the air is squeezed out of me I keep focus on my house. The place where I stayed rarely, the place where I remember making a garden with my mom and shoveling holes for pretty little flowers.

When my world comes back in focus darkness is the main thing surrounding me, snow also flutters lightly around me, covering the yard and old remnants of a garden. When my eyes adjust I see the familiar windows and layout of my home. It is completely dark. The windows are empty, no candles sit on the sills like they always used to be, and no comforting smoke is emitting from the chimney. Shakily I step forward to the porch. My breath is ragged and my chest hurts.

It's hard to admit when the worst possible thing in the world could be true. It's hard to tell everyone you were wrong. There's my hating to be weak showing up again. But as I slowly step closer to the front door of the home I barely ever saw, I know it is true. My world is falling apart. My parents would never take me to Paris and tell me how much they missed me during the year; they would never force Molly to come home for a day and visit. They would never tell me they love me.

Tears cascade down my cheeks as I think hard about the last time anyone had told me they love me. No time comes to mind. Gasping I fling my hand out for the doorknob. Cold metal stings my fingers as I twist the knob and force open the door. Stale air greets me and I step inside the home.

I pull my wand out of my pocket and let light glow around the room. It's not the house I remember. I can sense the magic that has been used. I walk down the hall to the kitchen. When I enter the room I cant breath. It's not the kitchen I remember. The kitchen I remember is deathly clean, nothing lying on the counters, no lint, no dirt, no bowls left out. Except when Molly and I had played dolls together one time the kitchen was always clean. Now dust is collecting, old dishes stacked by the sink, a washrag lying in a heap by the stove. Frantically I turn away and face the living room. The couch isn't there anymore. Neither are the chairs. That is where the murder was.

Spinning from the room I run, I back track to the entryway slamming into the walls as I go. The front door still lays open, as I run past it I slam it shut and run up the stairs. My room calls to me. No matter how many rooms you have they always are comforting and wanting. I need assurance I need, something, a constant I guess.

Running past Molly's old room I reach the end of the hall and burst into my room. Moonlight drips in through the curtains and splatters across the floor. In the light of my wand I see my room is as white as ever, and the same as ever. Dropping my wand I run to my bed and fall onto the covers. Stale smells swirl around me, but I still can smell my mother. Even though its faint I know she is there. Closing my eyes I let the night take me.

When I open my eyes the next morning it hurts. I feel crusty flakes sting my eyes and my eyelashes break apart. I must have begun crying sometime in the night. Rubbing my eyes I sit up. When I look to my window I remember everything. Taking a deep breath of air I rub my chest and crawl off my bed. By the light of the day I can tell it's the afternoon. No more snow falls outside, and the sun starts to melt what is there.

Sighing I begin peeling my clothing off. Tossing my long sleeved shirt to the ground I m left in my tank top and underwear. Not noticing the coldness of the house I walk out of my room and to the bathroom. Towels are available as always. I turn the water on to the shower and look at myself in the mirror. My golden eyes are bloodshot and my skin looks awful. As I try to rub away the ugliness I feel more tears wanting to come through. Shaking my head I strip down to nothing and jump into the water.

Scalding hot water beat on me as I was my body. I stand under the water washing soap off, and I don't move for the longest time. I wet my hair and scrub shampoo through the rat's nests'. Washing the suds away and lather my blonde locks with conditioner. As the hot water runs down my skin I begin to sob. Shaking violently I sink to the bottom of the tub. Pulling my legs up to my chest I cry. How long I let the water wash over me, I don't know. How long I cry, I don't know. But I know I am in the inferno, a nightmare of horror.

While my parents were my parents, Molly still my sister, they didn't compare to James' parents, or Lily, or Alice, or Sally, Sirius, James, Remus. They were always there. Another wave of tears hits me. This wasn't supposed to happen. I have always dreamed of being done with school, the time my parents would retire. They said we would travel, leave the country be a real family and never leave again. Promises not kept.

Cold water begins to flow from the faucet. Finally I stand and turn the water off. I grab one of the fluffy white towels from the crook on the wall and wrap it over my body. Dripping wet I exit the bathroom and make my way back to my room. The afternoon light is failing when I look out the window in my room. It's small compared to the one at James' house; in a way it makes me fell secure and safe. But then in a way I am trapped. I feel more sobs rack my body and I collapse on my bed, not bothering to put clothes on. I feel myself drift back off to sleep. Darkness is all I dream of.

With a start I wake. I don't really know what woke me up, but here I am awake, and it's dark. The silver and gold clock that once stood on my nightstand is no longer there, the Death Eaters most likely took it, stupid money craving creeps. Shivering I sit up clutching my towel around me. Outside I see the light of the full moon extending over the countryside. Uncle Harold and Aunt Cecilia would come and look here for me sooner or later.

Hurriedly I open my closet and find some of my older clothing. I haven't grown much so most of it should still fit me. Grabbing blindly I pull on the warmest stuff I see. Shutting the door I turn back and face my room. My old clothing lies in a heap in the middle of the room. Quickly I grab it and fold it neatly and lay it on my bed along with the damp towel I used when I showered. Pulling the covers taunt I make sure everything looks neat before grabbing my wand that still lies on the floor, and backing out of the room.

When I get downstairs I cant bring myself to go back to the kitchen or living room. To many memories begin to flood my mind. Shaking the thoughts away I knew I couldn't stay here any longer. Knowing it was coming sooner or later I decide to go back to school, or Hogsmead. From Hogsmead I can most likely slip into the school through the forest. It was risky, but I didn't care. Shutting my eyes I concentrate on the village. I force the evil memories of my old home away and relive the fresher seemingly happier ones. My thoughts are knocked around when I feel like I am slithering through a tube. No more air is in my lungs, and when the cool air of the night slaps me in the face I take a shuddering breath.

Opening my eyes I see most of the roads have been cleared through the village. No lights are on anywhere, only the moon illuminates the shops' silhouettes. My fear of the past and of crying again had stopped me from checking the time. I am an idiot. Pulling the sleeves of my jacket down over my hands I begin walking towards the Shrieking Shack. I don't know why, but my dark twisty self is lashing out.

It's dark. Very dark. I don't want to risk lighting my wand; I don't want anything unwanted finding me, especially so late in the night. Carefully I pick my way around the paths and finally find the Shrieking Shack. The silence is eerie, but I detect nothing from the haunted creepy place. Taking a breath I move faster to the trees and into the shadows. I really hoped everything was asleep.

As I walk I keep my eyes peeled for anything nabbing out at me. But what I should have been focus on what the sounds. The deep heavy breathing is what caught my attention. I don't know why, but I look up, all my innate self screams 'no you idiot!' Naturally I ignore it and look up. Sickening yellow eyes bear into me. I feel my jaw drop and a scream want to tear through my lungs, but no sound come out. I am looking at a fully transformed werewolf. Curses fill my mind before fear totally over comes. The beast sniffs the air and keeps looking at me. I don't know what to do, my limbs don't want to move and my mind is in no hurry to force them to. Short quick breaths fill me as I try to hold still.

Suddenly recognition overtakes me. The beast seemed cautious. Like it knew me. It seemed to look into me like the one person I knew could. Without warning the werewolf threw back its head and howled to the open night. Then it takes of running into the trees. When it is gone I began taking deeper fuller breaths. I could have died. Had I wanted to die? I thought I had. Maybe not. I think there was one thing I had to do first. I turned and began running. I would get Madam Rosemerta up and force her to give me a room. Then I would go back to school.

The yellow eyes continually flashed through me and his name beat through my mind.

Remus. Remus. Remus. Remus. Remus. Remus. Remus. Remus. Remus. Remus

**Edited as of July 12, 2010 Read and Review!**


End file.
